JOKES

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs! The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!' She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!' Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!' She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???' The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'I rang the doorbell, didn't I?..

here is another good joke

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon
their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would
transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He
asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in
favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters,
explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever
experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt
fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor
then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still
feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was
amazed at how well he was doing. At this point, they decided to try for
50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer
was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged
the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy
baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When
they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch!!!

good 1